Some days I feel like this:
And some days I just feel like this......
You know what I mean?
Friday, June 18, 2010
To bloom or not to bloom?
In honor of another up and down and up week, yesterday while I was at a greenhouse with my friend Katie I took some pictures---
Some days I feel like this:
And some days I just feel like this......
You know what I mean?
Some days I feel like this:
And some days I just feel like this......
You know what I mean?
Monday, June 14, 2010
I needed a reminder today...
...of these four things:
1. Think who you want to be
2. Trust God with your dreams
3. Work as if God is right there next to you
4. Give generously of who you are
Thanks, Louie Giglio, for that excellent sermon once again! I needed that... and I bet that we all need that reminder every once in awhile :-D
1. Think who you want to be
2. Trust God with your dreams
3. Work as if God is right there next to you
4. Give generously of who you are
Thanks, Louie Giglio, for that excellent sermon once again! I needed that... and I bet that we all need that reminder every once in awhile :-D
Friday, June 11, 2010
FYI
About the life-drama with "should I travel with Life Action Ministries or should I stay in Illinois and settle in to pay off student loans?" that's going on: it still hasn't been resolved. I was just looking back at some old posts--the story of my audition, the phone call from HCC about the Challenger job... it still gives me shivers. The statements I made about being okay either way, about student loans, about unsureness... they were almost prophetic...
Well, the latest is this:
I got the official call from Life Action Ministries just over a week ago, asking me to travel with them this year as a singer. I really, really, really wanted it (can you tell?). But just when I was about to say yes, those folks I consider to be my wise counselors all advised me to stay in town and pay off those dratted student loans instead of travelling. Boy, let me tell you, I wrestled with God hard-core on it. In fact, I'm not sure if I'm even done wrestling yet. A story God brought to my mind was that of Jacob wrestling with God, and I knew that, just as in the story, the only way I could walk away from this was if God touched me and either changed me physically or changed my circumstances intensely.
Obviously, I had changed a lot in the last few weeks. I had bought in so completely to the idea that maybe this was God's will for me that I was no longer willing to stay! Now my old original plan, which had seemed so brilliant at the time--to apply for 2011 and pay student loans off first--seemed constraining and dull. I think when I put myself out there for that audition, I took a decisive step in changing who I am. Though not visible to others, inside I had altered my course. I even agreed to sing in the Praise Team on Sunday mornings, just to see if I could survive for Life Action--and I you know what? I loved it! I didn't want to settle down anymore and become a teacher. I wanted something radical. I wanted ministry all the time (though I apparently didn't want ministry in my own hometown... oops). What was happening to me?
Of course, in the meantime, my Challenger Learning Center job interview was fast approaching. Once Upon A Time, I thought I wouldn't have to worry about it; I would just accept Life Action and then regretfully inform the Challenger I'd taken another position. But now, with my folks advising me to hold out on the decision for LA as long as I could, my interview had come. So I prepared: got out my fancy suit, put together a First Grade lesson on magnets for the teaching demonstration, and plunged ahead. I figured the interview would clear things up for me, once and for all. Honestly, I was counting on finding out that I didn't really like it.
Of course I was wrong.
The Challenger facilities are magnificent. Let me tell you, it's like being in a real spaceship (as much as I know what a real spaceship is like, that is!). The Interview Panel really liked me and even got into character during the First Grade lesson.
Now it is even harder for me!!! I could easily see myself being happy at either job. I now don't feel like I can tell either opportunity "no" (there's that people-pleasing bend in me again). Yet, a piece of my heart still steals away periodically and longs desperately for the 24/7-ministry-life-on-the-road with Life Action. But now I'm afraid again, friends. I'm afraid neither opportunity will meet me ever again. What's a girl to do? Which is the next right choice?
Well, the latest is this:
I got the official call from Life Action Ministries just over a week ago, asking me to travel with them this year as a singer. I really, really, really wanted it (can you tell?). But just when I was about to say yes, those folks I consider to be my wise counselors all advised me to stay in town and pay off those dratted student loans instead of travelling. Boy, let me tell you, I wrestled with God hard-core on it. In fact, I'm not sure if I'm even done wrestling yet. A story God brought to my mind was that of Jacob wrestling with God, and I knew that, just as in the story, the only way I could walk away from this was if God touched me and either changed me physically or changed my circumstances intensely.
Obviously, I had changed a lot in the last few weeks. I had bought in so completely to the idea that maybe this was God's will for me that I was no longer willing to stay! Now my old original plan, which had seemed so brilliant at the time--to apply for 2011 and pay student loans off first--seemed constraining and dull. I think when I put myself out there for that audition, I took a decisive step in changing who I am. Though not visible to others, inside I had altered my course. I even agreed to sing in the Praise Team on Sunday mornings, just to see if I could survive for Life Action--and I you know what? I loved it! I didn't want to settle down anymore and become a teacher. I wanted something radical. I wanted ministry all the time (though I apparently didn't want ministry in my own hometown... oops). What was happening to me?
Of course, in the meantime, my Challenger Learning Center job interview was fast approaching. Once Upon A Time, I thought I wouldn't have to worry about it; I would just accept Life Action and then regretfully inform the Challenger I'd taken another position. But now, with my folks advising me to hold out on the decision for LA as long as I could, my interview had come. So I prepared: got out my fancy suit, put together a First Grade lesson on magnets for the teaching demonstration, and plunged ahead. I figured the interview would clear things up for me, once and for all. Honestly, I was counting on finding out that I didn't really like it.
Of course I was wrong.
The Challenger facilities are magnificent. Let me tell you, it's like being in a real spaceship (as much as I know what a real spaceship is like, that is!). The Interview Panel really liked me and even got into character during the First Grade lesson.
Now it is even harder for me!!! I could easily see myself being happy at either job. I now don't feel like I can tell either opportunity "no" (there's that people-pleasing bend in me again). Yet, a piece of my heart still steals away periodically and longs desperately for the 24/7-ministry-life-on-the-road with Life Action. But now I'm afraid again, friends. I'm afraid neither opportunity will meet me ever again. What's a girl to do? Which is the next right choice?
Holy, holy, holy
There is this song we used to sing in youth group when I was much younger and it had a bit like this:
"Holiness, holiness, is what I longer for//Holiness is what I need//Holiness, holiness, is what You want from me"
Yeah, there were many times when those were just words I sang because everyone around me was singing, or because I wanted to test out my harmonizing skills... but recently this topic of God's holiness has been creeping and seeping into all the areas of my life. Just in little things... a snippet in a book I'm reading... a quote in a sermon... a verse in a passage I've read... a song on the radio...
Most recently, our College Pastor, Brian, has really had this topic on his heart as he's preaching in our Sunday Night REACH services. Last week we had a tremendous time of listening to stories of God's holy presence in the Ark of the Covenant--I had forgotten how funny some of them actually are--and marvelling at how the very presence of item God was near was causing a whole city to go crazy.
Holiness. The integral character of God.
The angels around His throne sing holy, holy, holy is the Lord God of hosts
The earth is filled with His glory
He was and is and is to come
As I think about God's holiness as related to us in the Scriptures, I am struck with awe again. The story of the giant Philistine idol falling down face-first because of the Ark of the Covenant just sitting near it... it makes me marvel: just the presence of things God was very near to--not Himself, or His Spirit, but these things He was near to--made an idol bow down repeatedly! Imagine if God came so near to you and me that our very presence made idols fall down! That strongholds were cast down beacaues of the overpowering "reek of Jesus" hanging in the air around us all the time?! Wow!
God,
You are faultless in all You do. I believe that. Truly you have a handle on everything at once and You are right in every way You handle our lives. Just as Daniel says:
"All the inhaitants of the earth are reputedas nothing;
He does according to His wll in the army of heaven
And among the inhabitants of the earth.
No one can restrain His hand
or say to Him, "What have You done?" "
No tiny person can question You, alter You, or stop You. In heaven and on earth You reign and arrange and rearrange...
In the last few days a new cd by Brett Younker has come onto my radar, and he of course has a song on it entitled "holiness". I love the line, "You're callng me to live a life of freedom from the sin You've overcome"...and I want to end with the chorus:
"Lord Your holiness is my desire
Father, take my life and make it clean
Let the things of this world all fade away
'Till Your holiness is all I seek."
It's true. Holiness is what I need and I'm finding that it's something God definitely wants from me... especially in a time like this when it's so easy for me to go into a tizzy of selfishness about the huge life choices I'm caught between right now.... Holiness, holiness, is what I long for//holiness, is what I need, and let the things of this world all fade away, till God's holness is all I seek!
"Holiness, holiness, is what I longer for//Holiness is what I need//Holiness, holiness, is what You want from me"
Yeah, there were many times when those were just words I sang because everyone around me was singing, or because I wanted to test out my harmonizing skills... but recently this topic of God's holiness has been creeping and seeping into all the areas of my life. Just in little things... a snippet in a book I'm reading... a quote in a sermon... a verse in a passage I've read... a song on the radio...
Most recently, our College Pastor, Brian, has really had this topic on his heart as he's preaching in our Sunday Night REACH services. Last week we had a tremendous time of listening to stories of God's holy presence in the Ark of the Covenant--I had forgotten how funny some of them actually are--and marvelling at how the very presence of item God was near was causing a whole city to go crazy.
Holiness. The integral character of God.
The angels around His throne sing holy, holy, holy is the Lord God of hosts
The earth is filled with His glory
He was and is and is to come
As I think about God's holiness as related to us in the Scriptures, I am struck with awe again. The story of the giant Philistine idol falling down face-first because of the Ark of the Covenant just sitting near it... it makes me marvel: just the presence of things God was very near to--not Himself, or His Spirit, but these things He was near to--made an idol bow down repeatedly! Imagine if God came so near to you and me that our very presence made idols fall down! That strongholds were cast down beacaues of the overpowering "reek of Jesus" hanging in the air around us all the time?! Wow!
God,
You are faultless in all You do. I believe that. Truly you have a handle on everything at once and You are right in every way You handle our lives. Just as Daniel says:
"All the inhaitants of the earth are reputedas nothing;
He does according to His wll in the army of heaven
And among the inhabitants of the earth.
No one can restrain His hand
or say to Him, "What have You done?" "
No tiny person can question You, alter You, or stop You. In heaven and on earth You reign and arrange and rearrange...
In the last few days a new cd by Brett Younker has come onto my radar, and he of course has a song on it entitled "holiness". I love the line, "You're callng me to live a life of freedom from the sin You've overcome"...and I want to end with the chorus:
"Lord Your holiness is my desire
Father, take my life and make it clean
Let the things of this world all fade away
'Till Your holiness is all I seek."
It's true. Holiness is what I need and I'm finding that it's something God definitely wants from me... especially in a time like this when it's so easy for me to go into a tizzy of selfishness about the huge life choices I'm caught between right now.... Holiness, holiness, is what I long for//holiness, is what I need, and let the things of this world all fade away, till God's holness is all I seek!
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